I’m writing this in my 38th week of pregnancy.

My first birth was in 2020, I didn’t know “Moja babica” then, but I googled everything from how contractions start to proper latching, breastfeeding… I feel like I read a huge amount of articles and literature.

I also read a lot about epidurals, and by the middle of my pregnancy, I was convinced I would get one. And I did. Why not, if they said birth could be pain-free? It completely stopped my labor; 9 hours of lying down with an epidural was agonizing, it didn’t work for me, I got artificial contractions, and I had a mask on… chaos.

3 days after giving birth, I said: never again.

Well, in 2022, I’m going to give birth again. By pure chance, I’m looking at something on IG and find this wonderful person. My midwife Nastja. I follow her when she posts something, sometimes I comment… I read most of her posts, and in my 35th week, I decide to check out the program (lecture) Birth – Moja Babica. From that moment on, when I saw how unprepared I was the first time, I became more “attached” to her. I don’t know her personally, but it feels like she’s been here for a long time.

Her lectures opened completely new doors for me; I received a huge amount of information, I recommend them to every pregnant woman, even if you’re giving birth for the third time, watch these lectures, I can’t describe what a treasure trove of knowledge, warmth, and joy she has in sharing information…

I just wish that on the day of birth, I’ll truly give my maximum and be prepared for labor. I’d just hug her. Well, the closer D-day gets, the more often I review individual sections. So it sinks into my subconscious, into my mind…

I can barely wait for each of her posts, stories; I regularly read her page and can’t believe such a golden person exists, sharing this information in such a simple, understandable way, supported by many, many studies.

Well, after I wrote these words, Nastja sent me relaxation exercises. A few days ago, I wrote to her that I was afraid of birth and pain. I will listen to them until birth; her voice is so calming, I completely trust her. The relaxation exercises are also in the “birth” lecture. She’s incredible…

And the last 40th week. I play Nastja’s relaxation exercises multiple times, even at 3 AM when I’m wide awake like an owl, and they even help me fall asleep.

3 days before my due date, another check-up. 2cm dilated. Nothing is happening. The baby in my belly is as active as ever, already quite low. I still don’t know if I should go into labor or not 🙂 or if I should take an epidural or if I won’t need it and will prefer something else. Or if I’ll be able to manage contractions at home for as long as possible…

1 day after my due date, another check-up, plenty of amniotic fluid, nothing new.

Days 3 and 4, nothing 🙁 He’s moving a lot, plenty of amniotic fluid, and he’s in no hurry to come into the world.

In the evening, I lie down, review “Moja babica” page a bit more, play the relaxation exercises, then watch a series. This is 5 days after my due date. At 00:30, something squeezes me, it feels like a contraction, but very, very mild. I wait for another “twinge.” Another one 8 minutes later. Oh. I start timing contractions, almost immediately every 6 minutes. Yikes. For an hour, mild but very frequent contractions; I breathe through them, swaying at the counter. Thank you, Nastja. 🙂 So far, so good.

And 27 contractions later, I’m already at the hospital, contractions every 2-3 minutes. They check me at triage, 6-7cm. What!?! Okay, just a little more. I go up to the delivery room, swaying left and right the whole time I walk, and meet the midwife. “Madam, would you like any pain relief?” I say: “Oh no, it’s not that bad.” One or two contractions come, and I ask for the mask – gas.

I breathe through it for about half an hour, and the midwife tells me: “You’re in a lot of pain. Would you rather have Ultiva, and then we’ll check you and can rupture the membranes?”

I take Ultiva. At first, I don’t agree to the rupture. She tells me: “Madam, you are at 8cm. If we rupture now, it will be over soon.” Well, okay. And indeed, the midwife guides me, coming and going from the delivery room; all the time I think of “relax” and “breathe.” It helps a little. I say that I already feel a lot of pressure downwards, and for the next two or three contractions, I push on my side, with a pillow between my legs, which feels good. “Now, madam, on your back.”.. Oh dear, I somehow position myself so that my pelvis is asymmetrical, and the midwife says nothing. The midwife delivers the head, it wasn’t even that bad,… “One more contraction, and the baby will be out, madam.”

Phew. In less than half an hour from the rupture of membranes, and he was completely out by 5 AM. Good 🙂 overall, a little torn. The first time I had an episiotomy. The shift changes, and the male midwife takes over, washes me, empties my bladder, and takes care of the rest.

Very gentle, kind, and understanding.

Thank you, Nastja, for existing. You truly gave me strength, even though I’m a pain-averse rabbit, a big rabbit. Without you and the birth preparation, I would have tensed up and been in labor for another 5 hours. But this way, from the first very mild contraction to the birth of the baby, it was 4.5 hours.

Well, the baby has been breastfeeding all morning, taking a little nap, and I can’t sleep. I feel pretty good, much, much better than 2 years ago.