12 days before my due date, I noticed bloody mucus and concluded that my mucus plug had come away. Full of anticipation that labor would start in a few hours or days, I tried to keep myself busy with various tasks, but after a few days it became clear that it might not start as quickly as I had hoped.

On my due date, I noticed in the morning that my plug was coming away again—apparently what had happened 12 days earlier was only part of the plug. Since my gynecologist had instructed me to go to the maternity ward for a checkup if I had any further bleeding, I decided to get checked. A midwife (I don’t know her name) saw me and told me that bleeding around the due date is very common and “gynecologists could actually tell pregnant women that.” She did a vaginal exam and found that I was only 1 cm dilated, and pulled out another clump of mucus and blood. The exam hurt terribly… They also did a CTG, measured the fluid levels, and told me we’d go past the due date because the membranes were still intact, there was enough amniotic fluid, and the cervix was firm.
This was around 12 PM or 1 PM. Then my partner and I went for lunch—I was in terrible pain from the exam. After lunch, around 3:30 PM, we lay down to rest—I started cramping. I didn’t take it seriously because I’d been cramping for 12 days, ever since that first bleeding. Then I started watching the clock a bit, because it was quite painful, and I saw that for half an hour they were repeating every 10 minutes, then already every 5… I didn’t want to go to the maternity ward because I wanted to stay home as long as possible. I knew that if I was 1 cm dilated a few hours earlier, it wouldn’t go that fast. I went for a walk with the dogs, having to breathe through contractions and stop along the way, all in the hope that movement would help with dilation… I held out at home until 8 PM, when I’d had contractions every 3 minutes for 2 hours—they kept getting worse, very painful. So my partner and I decided to leave for the hospital because I was already slightly unresponsive.
When I got there, they put me straight in the delivery room and found that I was still only 1 cm dilated. Great. But contractions every 2 minutes, getting stronger. The doctor who had done my CTG in the afternoon walked by and said: “You’re going to have a really rough time,” so basically, she gave great encouragement. It was hard because with such frequent contractions I couldn’t rest in between. Midwife I.M. was a dream—if I’d chosen her myself, I couldn’t have found better. She read my birth plan and followed it completely… the alternative rooms were occupied, but she brought me a ball, a stool, a rocking chair… basically she tried to honor all my wishes, though I have to say that I actually didn’t care about half the things I’d written in the plan because everything was so intense. The worst part was when I had to lie on the bed now and then (for exams)… agony, contractions hurt 50% more lying down. The midwife told me about the option of a pain relief injection that also helps soften the cervix… I would have taken an epidural at that moment if they’d offered it (even though I’d prepared completely for a natural birth, but at that moment it was just like that). I told the midwife I’d rather not have the injection because I’d heard that women vomit after it, and I was already feeling terribly nauseous with each contraction, supposedly due to incorrect breathing. The midwife said it wasn’t the same medication, and I agreed, of course, because after 2 hours I was still only 3 cm dilated and the contractions kept getting stronger… Since I had written in my birth plan that I would ask for pain relief myself if I wanted it, the midwife mentioned this injection but didn’t bring it up again until my partner and I asked for it, hoping it would help soften the cervix. And indeed, the injection helped enough to give me a bit more time between some contractions to rest, and I even dozed off in between.

She also brought me laughing gas—nitrous oxide. I tried it for 2 contractions but it made me feel sick, didn’t help at all, so I put it aside. As I said, I felt terribly nauseous between contractions and I also vomited… supposedly because I wasn’t breathing properly, but that panting breathing only made the nausea worse.
Anyway, the midwife also mentioned the option of breaking my water… I said I’d like to wait a bit longer… I wasn’t dilating at all and we decided to do it. It was quite a relief—the contractions intensified to every minute and were stronger, but then I quickly dilated from 4 to 8 cm, and in a flash the midwife said we needed to push the head down. At that point, no position felt good anymore—not the stool, not standing, not lying down, nothing… I went to the bed for an exam and couldn’t get off it anymore… I was basically sitting because the midwife had raised the bed like that, and I actually gave birth sitting on my left side.

The pushing stage maybe lasted about 10-15 minutes (according to my partner—I experienced the birth as if in a trance and don’t remember half of it) and soon I held warm, sweet-smelling Lun in my arms.
A bit more detailed, but that’s how I experienced the birth. What I want to say is—theory is one thing, practice is another, especially when it comes to a first birth. I was really looking forward to the birth, studied all the scenarios, and today I think I actually did fine. I managed, that’s what matters most, and even though in theory I knew I had to be as relaxed as possible, during contractions I just couldn’t relax and was tense, even though I knew I shouldn’t be… But thanks to the midwife and my perineal massage and care, I got away with 1 internal stitch—a cosmetic one, the midwife said, because a little vein burst. The whole time she protected my perineum with warm compresses.

Looking back, the birth really was the most beautiful experience of my life, even though the next day I was still saying it was terrible and I wouldn’t give birth again—today I’d go through it again in a heartbeat. I’m also convinced that without birth preparation with yoga and perineal care and massage, the birth would have been completely different. And don’t go to the maternity ward without a birth plan either.
I’m glad I chose the maternity ward I did.

♡

Lun, December 30, 2012 at 1:38 AM (3650 g and 51 cm) and Gili, December 20, 2015 at 12:51 PM (3730 g and 51 cm)