12 days before my estimated due date, I noticed some bloody mucus and concluded that my mucus plug had come away. Full of anticipation that labor would start in a few hours or days, I tried to distract myself with various tasks, but after a few days, it became clear to me that it might not start as quickly as I had hoped.

On my due date, I noticed in the morning that my plug was coming away again; apparently, what I saw 12 days prior was only part of it. Since my gynecologist had instructed me to go for a check-up at the maternity hospital if there was any renewed bleeding, I decided to go. There, a midwife (I don’t know her name) greeted me and told me that bleeding on the due date is very common and “that gynecologists could also tell pregnant women this.” She performed a vaginal examination and found that I was only 1 cm dilated, also pulling out a clump of mucus and blood. The examination hurt terribly… They also did a CTG, measured the blood flow, and told me that I would go past my due date because my cervix was still intact, there was enough amniotic fluid, and the cervix was firm.
This was around 12 or 1 PM. Then my darling and I went for lunch, and everything hurt terribly from the examination. After lunch, around 3:30 PM, we lay down to rest – and I started having contractions. I didn’t take it seriously at first, as I had been having contractions for 12 days since that first bleeding. Then I started watching the clock a bit because it was quite painful, and I saw that they were repeating every 10 minutes for half an hour, then every 5 minutes… I didn’t want to go to the maternity hospital because I wanted to stay home as long as possible. I knew that if I was only 1 cm dilated a few hours ago, it wouldn’t go that fast. I even went for a walk with the dogs, having to breathe through contractions and stop along the way, all in the hope that movement would help me dilate… I stayed home until 8 PM when I had contractions every 3 minutes for 2 hours; they were getting worse and were very, very painful. So, my darling and I decided to go to the hospital because I was already slightly unresponsive.
When I arrived, they immediately put me in the delivery room and found that I was still only 1 cm dilated. Great. Contractions were every 2 minutes, getting stronger. The doctor who did my CTG in the afternoon walked by and said, “You’re going to have a really tough time still,” which was, in short, a terrible encouragement. It was hard because with such frequent contractions, I couldn’t rest in between. Midwife I.M. was a dream; if I had chosen her myself, I couldn’t have found anyone better. She read my birth plan and fully respected it… The alternative rooms were occupied, but she brought me a ball, a stool, a rocking chair… in short, she tried to accommodate all my wishes. I must say, though, that at that point, I basically didn’t care about half the things I had written in the plan because everything was so intense. The worst part was when I had to lie on the bed here and there (for examination)… it was torture; lying down made the contractions 50% more painful. The midwife told me about the option of a pain-relief injection, which also helps soften the cervix… I would have taken an epidural at that moment if they had offered it (even though I had fully prepared for a natural birth, but at that moment, it was just like that). I told the midwife I’d rather not have the injection because I’d heard that women vomit after it, and I was already feeling terribly nauseous during every contraction, supposedly due to incorrect breathing. The midwife said it wasn’t the same medication, and of course, I agreed because after 2 hours, I was still only 3 cm dilated, and the contractions were getting stronger… Since my birth plan stated that I would ask for pain relief myself if I wanted it, the midwife mentioned this injection but didn’t bring it up again until my partner and I asked for it, hoping it would help soften the cervix. And indeed, the injection helped enough to slightly extend the time between a few contractions, allowing me to rest and even doze off in between.

She also brought me laughing gas – nitrous oxide. I tried it for 2 contractions, but it was disgusting and didn’t help at all, so I put it aside. As I said, I felt terribly nauseous during contractions and even vomited… supposedly because I wasn’t breathing correctly, but that panting only made me feel worse.
Anyway, the midwife also mentioned the option of breaking my waters… I said we should wait a little longer… I wasn’t dilating much, so we decided to go for it. It was quite a relief; although the contractions became more frequent, every minute, and stronger, I then dilated from 4 to 8 cm in a short time, and in a flash, the midwife said we needed to push the baby’s head down. At that point, no position suited me anymore, not the stool, not standing, not lying down, nothing… I went to the bed for an examination and couldn’t get off it anymore… I was basically sitting because the midwife raised the bed for me, and I essentially gave birth sitting on my left side.

The pushing stage perhaps lasted about 10-15 minutes (according to my darling; I experienced the birth as if in a trance and don’t remember half of it), and soon I held warm, fragrant Lun in my arms.
A bit more detailed, but that’s how I experienced childbirth. What I want to say is – theory is one thing, practice is another, especially when it comes to the first birth. I was very much looking forward to the birth, studied all scenarios, and today I think I actually did quite well. I managed it, that’s the most important thing, and although in theory I knew I should be as relaxed as possible, I couldn’t relax at all during contractions and was tense, even though I knew I shouldn’t be… but thanks to the midwife and my perineal massage and care, I only ended up with 1 internal stitch, a cosmetic one, the midwife said, because a small blood vessel burst. She protected my perineum with warm compresses the whole time.

Looking back, the birth was truly the most beautiful experience of my life, even though the next day I was still saying it was horrible and I wouldn’t give birth again. Today, I would do it again immediately. I am also convinced that without birth preparation with yoga and perineal care and massage, the birth would have been completely different. Also, never go to the maternity hospital without a birth plan.
I am glad I chose the maternity hospital I did.

♡

Lun, December 30, 2012 at 1:38 AM (3650 g and 51 cm) and Gili, December 20, 2015 at 12:51 PM (3730 g and 51 cm)