The postpartum period is a time that young families “in the making” often forget about. Everything focuses on the birth and the baby’s equipment, but too little on other important things once the new member is already among you.

One such thing is certainly visits to the newborn and mother. Everyone is excited about the new member, so a visit to the maternity ward is expected, unless the couple is strict about not wanting visits there. If there are no visits at the maternity ward, everyone wants to visit the family at home as soon as possible. It’s important to know that the newly formed family needs time to adjust and stabilize. So let’s respect the family’s wishes about when they accept visits, who can visit, and for how long, without unnecessary resentment. We must also be aware that limiting visits during flu and cold season is even more understandable. If you feel something scratching in your throat or you’re not feeling your best, stay home. And one more thing… don’t create extra work for them by having them serve you hand and foot. Instead, help them by tidying up, cooking, ironing… but still cuddle the baby in between 🙂 The first 6 weeks are crucial. What should partners discuss before the family member arrives?

Sleep and Rest

First, ask yourself how much sleep you needed before pregnancy to be rested and function normally. When the baby arrives, the sleep rhythm is even more disrupted than during pregnancy. You’ll need to wake up for feeding the baby, caring for the baby… So during the day you’ll need to make up for the “missed” nighttime hours if you want to be rested and content.
If possible, “catch up” on the missing hours in the morning and spend them in bed.

Nutrition

Talk with your partner about how you’ll manage your eating. Until the family finds its rhythm, it’s very exhausting to take care of all household chores and cooking. So you have several solutions available: either prepare food during pregnancy and freeze it (or maybe mother-in-law or mom prepares it…); or mom, mother-in-law, aunt will cook…; or your partner will cook; you’ll cook together; or you’ll have food delivered (schools, canteens…); or it will be a combination of several things. It’s important that mom eats good food, multiple meals daily, and consumes enough fluids, as all this affects milk production/breastfeeding.

There’s also feeding the newborn. How you’ll feed them. Why you’ll feed them that way. Who will get up at night and bring the baby for feeding. Whether the baby will be in their own bed or yours. Whether I’ll breastfeed lying in bed or sit on a chair, rocking chair…
Breastfeeding – yes, no, maybe. How you’ll ensure that breastfeeding gets established and is maintained… where you’ll seek help if needed.

Self-Care

Physical recovery is also one of the important processes after birth. Here, partners should discuss whether mom will have some time for herself each day. What she’ll do during that time. Rest, read, exercise…

Caring for the Newborn

Sometimes mothers are very critical of their partners, as they can (unintentionally) give them the feeling that they don’t know how to care for the baby well enough. That’s why this conversation is also needed during pregnancy. Discuss who will care for the newborn, whether one person will do it all the time or you’ll share the work. Whether you’ll care for them alone or have help (relatives, babysitters, postpartum doulas…).

While you’re talking about caring for the newborn, there’s also the conversation about other household chores: laundry, tidying, ironing, if there are siblings – caring for them, for pets if you have them… who will go shopping. Caring for the surroundings (in the house), yard yes/no. Those of you who have pets, for example a dog, don’t forget that the dog also needs their share of attention. A dog is an excellent companion for a child through growth and development. So dad should bring home a diaper from the maternity ward for the dog to smell and keep. When you come home with the baby, let the dog smell them, lick them, get to know them. And if they had a daily walk before, they should continue to have one with the arrival of the new family member.

Discuss what you expect from each other.

Caring for the partnership is an extremely important topic after birth. Very often only the baby is the center of attention, which is not good for the partnership. Don’t forget about each other and take time for yourselves. Even if the apartment is in disarray and the baby has finally fallen asleep, sit down, hug each other, talk about something, or just sit in silence. Together. Nurture your relationship even after birth and discuss during pregnancy what’s important to you for maintaining a good relationship. At the same time, think about socializing with friends and maintaining contact with them.

Decide where you’ll change the baby, where the changing table will be, where the baby will sleep during the day, where at night, where you’ll feed.

Photos: what and how you’ll preserve memories. Who will organize the photos…

There’s certainly another topic you need to discuss. And discuss it during pregnancy.

Read more:

• Mother-Baby Bonding After Cesarean Section
• The First Hour After Birth
• 9 Instinctive Stages of the Newborn
• Fear of Childbirth
• First Newborn Care After Birth – Bathing
• Breastfeeding in the Delivery Room
• Birth Plan
• Umbilical Cord Clamping
• Parenting and Bonding

Postpartum plan – DONA International Source Moms for Moms – After Birth